Who I Am

Who am I?

Great question, but obviously you did not see the title of the blog. Or you are just dumb.

I realize that some of my readers may be from rural America and therefore do not understand the rather obvious title of this blog. Let me explain what a “Big Time Hollywood Agent” does.

I am a talent agent at a well known Entertainment Agency in Los Angeles. I have chosen to remain anonymous to protect myself and my clients. I have chosen a fictional name because I do not want this blog to appear in the front page of Variety.

My readers may call me Maximus.

Please do not inundate Maximus with solicitations asking for representation. However, I do look at head shots of aspiring actresses. But for god sakes, do not send me any resumes or screen plays. I hate reading.

I was recently promoted from assistant to agent. As an assistant I was degraded and forced to trek to Starbucks everyday to get mochas for my boss. Starbucks is two blocks away! At least now I can truly say I have walked in the shoes of a slave. I finally made it to agent and I have my own assistant but I might fire him. He has gotten my Starbucks order wrong too many times.

I digress. For those readers who do not understand “the business,” let me explain how it works. A movie is made by a bunch of people; producers, directors, actors, screen writers, and some other other people whose roles are not really important. These people are mostly loners and therefore do not have the social skills necessary to find their own work. That is where I come in.

I find the writer and hook them up with a producer and director. Then the film crew is selected, given a script, and told where to show up to make the movie. Someone must assume the “god like” responsibility of putting these people together so that a crappy script may become a great movie. Who is the magic man that puts these people together and therefore makes the movie happen? Well, it’s the agent (me). That’s what I do. I work magic.

Believe it or not, an agent does all that for a tiny 10% of a workers’ compensation. This means that if I get an actor a job that pays him $1 million, my agency takes $100,000 of that $1 million. It may seem like we take a lot of money, but if you compare it to the monumental task we have set before us, it is actually a small fraction of what we deserve.

To put it simply. Without agents, movies would not happen. In my book we should get at least 50% compensation. We are the driving force that gets a movie made. I’ll settle for 10% and consider my job a gift to the world.